Summary

• I plan on being the next president of the United States
• If that doesn't pan out I'd like to work at Piggly Wiggly.

Education

• Attending the Las Vegas School of Card Shuffling - certified
• Gragiated early at the age of 14.

Work Experience

• Served as Homeroom Snack attendent for one week in the 4th grade
  or as I like to refer to it, my senior year.
• I empty the trash at my parents house in exchange for living in their basement.
• I was a paperboy for a totally digital newspaper, it didn't pay well...

Skills

• I'm proud to say that I can put 8 Ho-Hos in my mouth at the same time.
• I can burp the entire alphabet in 3 breaths.

Awards

• If I can eat 10 more punds of tofu before the end of the year I will
  receive my earth ambassador award.
• Just 3 more coffees and I get a free coffee at the local Drink and Stink.
  its the concession stand at the local landfill.